Ahhh...I remember the good ol' days of babysitting. I was a combination cook, maid, and nanny all at the same time at the outrageous rate of $1 per hour. There were even days when I had worked all week long, and when it was time to get paid, I felt so completely guilty taking a whole $20 bill from the people I tended for, that sometimes I would turn it down.
I remember showing up to homes where both parents worked so hard that sometimes their homes took a hit...that is, the washer hadn't been used for weeks; the dishes in the sink had a scent all their own, and the children's rooms were littered with shoes, socks, underwear and clothes from the last 15 days.
But my mom raised me right. I began in the kitchen...wiping, sweeping, mopping. I picked up clutter, took out trash, did laundry, made beds, and got the children I was babysitting to pitch in and help. And yep, that $1 an hour seemed so worth it to me. I think most people my age were babysitters like that.
Fast forward. Madison Smith is a genius. When we moved here, she was a babysitting dream come true. She showed up with toys, games, and activities for our kids. They RAN to greet her when she came. In fact, our kids would ASK us to go on dates so that Madison could come over. We returned home to kids BATHED, put in pajamas, and snuggled in their beds. Our kitchen was spotless...she had MADE dinner and cleaned up, and sung them to sleep. She hung the evening's artwork on our fridge for us to see when we got home. We paid her $10 an hour (for 5 kids), and never batted an eye doing it. She was WORTH IT.
Then she moved. And now I've joined the ranks of so many women who stand around at book club and Enrichment lamenting the babysitting woes of "teenagers these days." You see, they just don't "make 'em like they used to." We don't have many Young Women in our area, and babysitters are hard to come by...good ones are simply impossible to find.
Last night, I spot-cleaned my house. I wiped the kitchen cabinets down. Things were set. I popped a couple of pizzas in the oven for the kids when the babysitter arrived. My instructions to this brand-new babysitter were simple. "Keep my kids alive, and don't go crazy in the process, and make sure they clean up after themselves." Maybe I need to rethink these instructions. Because, yes, my kids were alive when I got home, and yes, the sitter was mentally intact, but well, I think I'M the one going crazy. NOBODY picked up after themselves.
We had decided before we got home how much we would pay our sitter. I like to do this because I don't want to discuss it in front of her. We pay generously. This was a new sitter, and I wanted her to get the impression that we will pay well, so that she will come willingly when we need her. BIG MISTAKE. I walked in...and she went to get her shoes, and meet John in the car to take her home. As she left, she said, "Timothy wouldn't eat pizza, but he ate some fruit snacks for dinner." I merely laughed, thinking "typical Timothy" as I wished her goodnight.
Then I walked in my kitchen. The milk was still sitting out, lid off, and was warm, probably from 2 hours previous when the pizzas were "eaten". The pizzas...partially eaten were still sitting out on the counter, crusts strewn everywhere except on plates. Dishes were still all around the table, and the Sam's Club-sized box of fruit snacks sitting out. There were toys, blankets, shoes, socks all dotting my previously clean family room. The chocolate syrup was out, dripping all over the counter.
Then I started counting fruit snack wrappers.
There were 14 to be exact. So basically, my babysitter had allowed Timothy to just sit and open pack after pack of snacks to his heart's content. Of course, around midnight, Timothy started crying, and had thrown them all up in his bed. We stripped his jammies, pillowcase and pillow, and all sheets on his AND Ashley and Natalie's bed (right next to his, caught in the cross-fire)..and I decided at midnight, that something's got to change.
How in the world do you find a competent sitter? I've talked with many mothers who say their babysitters watch tv and text-message all night, or chat on their cell phones. I don't think my story is unique.
Everyone says that you have to pay $2 per child, per hour. That means our 20-something year-old waiter at the restaurant didn't get NEARLY as much as our babysitter, and our waiter DID clear off the table.
So, I don't mean to use a blog to "vent", but perhaps, somewhere out there, is a competent babysitter who thinks that $12 an hour is worth it to watch kids, and just keep my house basically the way they found it when they arrived. Heaven knows I don't get paid that much!
5 comments:
Kim, I am disgusted. I was trying to think of something positive to say, but nothing comes to mind. Unbelievable. I think the reason this makes me so mad is because last night, we too went out on a date, and came home to the babysitter and kids watching tv in the family room. In the fashion I've come to expect from babysitters, the dinner dishes were all over the kitchen. I thought to myself, "What else is new?" I acknowledge that what we did for families growing up was above and beyond; all I expect today is for the messes made in my absence to be gone when I come home! Seriously...what is the solution here? I think YW organizations everywhere need to address this problem. The only comfort is knowing that I won't allow my daughters to do the same.
DITTO, DITTO, DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!! i canNOT even TELL you how it is the same here...i too worked for my cash babysitting, i ALWAYS left a spotless clean house (i would switch laundry, clean OUT the kids rooms, make beds, sweep, mop, kitchen, baths, dinner, everything!) my mom simply said "if you want moms to keep calling you to sit..clean their house!" so i did & always got paid $20 bucks...
jon makes an interesting point..it isnt up to the yw organization to teach girls how to babysit..it comes from the parents. my mom taught me--& FOLLOWEd up!
this is something i will STRESS with my girls, i already have had rachel sit for me, WITH A LIST of things i expected from her..i think these days you have to be EXACT & direct..after 12+ years of babysitting woes, this is something i've learned. i will WRITE on the list..MAKE my girls clean up-you dont have to do it..but you dO have to MAKE/ASK them!
i will teach my girls AT HOME how to babysit 1st, then send them out.
i often hear rants from the moms who's girls are the babysitter which go something like this.."they are there to WATCH your children..not be your maid!" to which i reply..they are there to REPLACE me!!! that INCLUdES being the maid!!!
in all my years..ive had 2 babysitting JOBS that left my house clean & as i have expected..sad.
lets start some sort of coalition!!!!
Wow- I felt sick to my stomach when reading this. It is funny that we work all day to get the house ready for the sitter and then to come home to something like that-tragic. Really- I would definately call her mother and kindly explain what happened so this doesn't happen again. If you don't she will keep doing the same thing over and over. Re: money- we too pay our babysitters well in hopes that they will 1-watch our children well, 2- pick up and clean up 3- no cell phones, no movies, no friends. We make a very concerted effort to communicate our expectations so there is no doubt what we expect. I don't mind fishing out the dough for them- which frankly is sometimes outrageous, but if I were to come home to a messy home- she would get a serious verbal warning and frankly I wouldn't pay her very much and communicate why. Sometimes they are just not taught how to babysit- Also totally agree with Christina, it is up to the parents. Sadly, we know there are always "those parents" that you know dont care. In those cases, maybe in this one, I would definately talk to her one on one using love and kindness to buffer the disapointment.
I feel your pain. I haven't had any luck where I am. I have come to the conclusion that it mostly isn't worth going out because the mess I'm left to deal with when i get home. The most recent thing that happened is that our babysitter fell asleep on the living room couch with all my 4 girls still awake. To make matters worse she had just given my 3 year old chocolate milk in a regular cup (not a sippy)(and of course left everything out in the process) and my 3 year old walked into my living room and spilled the whole thing all over my white carpet. Yeah, and we weren't even out late. I think we got home before 10. I dont' even mind if she feel asleep if she made sure my kids were asleep and taken care of before she dozed off. UGH!!
Yeah, I agree with Kristi...it starts at home. Their mothers should teach them-absolutely.
Then again, don't get me started on the work ethic of this generation as a whole! I like Christina's idea about creating a list of things you expect out of the babysitter. Smart.
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